In one week I will be on the airplane. I have so much to do in one week.

Yesterday was soooooooo long, as Wednesdays usually are. Clases de español 9-12, last Desarollo class 12-2, talking to Armando about badness of combined Mujeres/Desarollo class 2:15-2:45, email, last Dos Democrácias class 3:30-5, internet/attempted work in computer lab time, bought bocadillo from Club Social (currently surviving on bocadillos and café), went to choir to say hi to everybody but left before the rehearsal started, got picked up from the Uni at 8:15 to go to Xàbia for the 9:30 Magnificat rehearsal, arrived at the freezing but beautiful stone church at 9:25, ate our bocadillos, rehearsal didn´t start until 10:15 as choir and orchestra members were dragging themselves in and the director was getting closer adn closer to exploding from frustration, had our rehearsal. The rehearsal went well, except for being really cold and acoustically not so great, and except for me being completely aggrivated at Juan Luis, the director of the coro universitaria, as he talked or sang or made noises whenever the director was talking or the orchestra was playing or trying to tune up, and hummed our pitches at the beginning of every piece, and made fun of the soloists, and ignored/told us to sing the opposite of the written dynamics but insisted that it was easier to sing the written (incorrect) lyrics than get everyone to change the phrase, and whined and complained when the director did something differently than the way he liked it, and was generally the least professional, most rude and obnoxious person there. At 11:45, when we got to the end of the last song, the director said, "okay, now we´ll just run the whole thing through from the top." He said this in Valenciano, which is a dialect of Spanish that is kind of a combination of Castellano ("normal" Spanish) and French, which was the language that he spoke throughout the entire rehearsal. So we sang the whole thing again (much to Luís´s dismay and whininess), and then sang through the Hallelujah chorus just to put the icing on the cake and thouroughly wear out our voices. At 12:30 we were free to go... I got home at 2 am. And was at school again this morning!! Well it was almost my last long Wednesday... next week I just have to deal with five solid hours of exams, from 9-2, and turn in two term papers. Madre mia... I can do this!!

If this weblog entry had a title it would be, to the tune of the Clash, "I FOUGHT THE BULL, AND THE BULL WON." I was at school all day yesterday working, salí corriendo to make the bus home, drop off my stuff, and bus back to Plaza Luceros to meet Council and go to the Capea. It wasn´t everybody but most of the group was together again for the last time on the bus... I was thinking about how much the dynamic had changed since the beginning of the semester. Now all the faces are familiar and everyone knows who their friends are and who they get along with, and the whole group is more at ease just because we know who we all are. The scenery outside the window kept getting darker and darker and more and more sparse, until we were bumping along on some tiny dirt road in the middle of tumbleweedy nowhere. Suddenly the bus stopped and there was a little structure in front of us... getting off the bus then was kind of like the Spain you imagine, dark night, sliver of moon, dusty dry grassy terrain, a little mountain in the distance, this little whitewashed gate with a jigsaw-cut top like the tower of a castle and decorated by a few inch thick lines running along it. Went inside, they took us to the kitchen, and we saw the biggest damn paella cooking we had ever seen... The plate was huge. Probably five feet across. Smelled so gooood... We ate in a big wooden room, kind of a wooden tent-type round space with a platform in the middle and various heaters spaced throughout. Tapas first, salad and queso and chips and croquettes, and then the delicious paella, and fruit and coffee and plenty of vino for everybody. I was totally stuffed and had a great time. Then the folk band Tuna showed up in costume with their guitars to play for us, and that was awesome too. After that it was time for the Capea. We headed outside to the ring, past the giant sign that said that they weren´t responsible for any type of injury. We were the only people there, so everyone kind of spread out around the ring. Those who wanted to acutally entered the ring and stood behind the four little walls, one against each cardinal direction. These people were given red felt pieces of material to be their toro capes. My dictionary defines capea as "bullfight with young bulls." In my experience, capea signifies "a bunch of semi-drunken americans stupidly standing / running around a ring with a fast, strong, dangerous animal." It was absolutely fun. I was sitting in the bleachers with most of the people watching. Everyone is waiting in the ring, and suddenly they open the door and this "baby bull" comes charging out. It was much bigger and faster and stronger and more angry than anybody expected. Larger than a very large dog, and complete with a tiny set of little horns, about two inches long. So everybody runs behind the walls screaming and laughing and cursing with fear. Poco a poco people started coming out and giving it a try, waving their capes and moving at the last minute as the bull charges next to them. Some were more successful than others. I think that everybody in there got knocked down or run into at least once, or hurt themselves fleeing from the scary bull, like one guy who flung himself clear over the wall to escape but didn´t land so well. It was hilarious and really fun... I was having a big internal conflict between "I can´t believe those people are doing this, It´s incredible they let us do this, It´s totally stupid and dangerous" and "Brittany is the only girl out there. There are more girls than guys in this group tonight. I could do that. Am I not going just because I´m a girl? If I don´t try it I will regret it forever. There´s only one girl doing it! I can´t let my Women´s and Gender Studies major down." And back to, "I am going to be the one to get really hurt... I am so out of shape... how sober am I?... I don´t have to prove it to these people, I can be smart and safe instead..." I was going back and forth for a while, having a great time watching and laughing with the rest of the spectators.... Then they let the bull back in and brought out a new one, who was fresh and ready to go and when he charged out everyone screamed and ran away to safe places, and the audience all said "whoa!" or "damn!" or "ahh!" except for one person; I heard Ellie´s voice plainly say, "Oh, he´s so cute!!" I said to the girl next to me, "If I go in will you take a picture for me?" and grabbed my red cape. Didn´t have any interaction with the bull at first, letting other people do it, he passed by my cape one time kind of in a line after the guy before me. I think my initial words upon viewing the bull face to face were, "Shit you guys I´m scared!" But eventually I had my go... Did pretty good, had a couple of good passes, but then the bull didn´t run past me, just kind of stayed close to me and I kept turning and suddenly I was in the air and then I was on the ground and he was running away. My hat and my cape were some yards away... at this point my words were, "yeah, I´m okay, but I´m done." It must have looked bad because a lot of people that I saw today were like, "Lindsay, are you allright?" But it was not too bad, just a little bruised on my lower back and hip. I was about par for the people who gave it a try-- including a couple more girls, Amy included. It was super fun, a great night. The final score of the night´s opponents (not that these things are always opposite each other): Logic vs. Feminism: Feminism wins! Stupidity vs. Security: Stupidity wins! Fear vs. Bravery: Bravery wins! Lindsay vs. Baby Bull: Baby Bull wins! Pride vs. Pain: Pride wins by a landslide! Still feeling pretty darn proud of myself, and as Trip and I were saying to each other, glad to have another story to tell to the grandkids someday.

I am remembering what it is like to be stressed out by too much to do and too little time. I have to finish researching/write two term papers in Spanish, study for exams, rehearse/sing the Magnificat concert, rehearse/sing the regular university choir concert (well, one of them. I will be on an airplane during the other one), purchase the things I need to, find time to spend with important people... This stuff is all impeded by classes, bus travel time, availability of computers, siesta, mysterious trip to Murcia (for some reason) this Saturday to make up one of Gregorio´s missed classes, coffee at Ana´s on Sunday night to make up for one of HER missed classes, dinner with Council tonight and afterwards trip to a Capea where we get to run around with the baby bulls inside the bullring, etc... I´m looking for time to do stuff and not finding it. I may be able to check off the "book hostel in zurich" box on my list, because I sent an email to the City Backpacker Hostel... if not, I will get to enjoy an experience similar to those of these people. I did get a tip elsewhere that the airport chapel is a relatively peaceful place to crash though... So many ups and downs and mixed feelings lately. Choir rehearsal last night was HORRIBLE. Luis was at his worst, yelling mixed messages and being angry that people couldn´t sing better but not helping them to learn how. At one point he told the strong singers in each section (I was the alto) to shut up, and then made the choir sing the whole piece, poorly, for some reason, to prove they couldn´t do it or something. He was not happy to hear that I won´t be at the final concert... But I think the alto section is pretty good, and there were other strong singers who weren´t there last night. Such as Silvia. She wasn´t there, and I was so angry at the director, and so when we finally took our break I was thinking about leaving and calling somebody from home just because I was so frustrated, but instead I was met by a ton of attention from other singers in the choir telling me how much they were going to miss me... My friend Mari Carmen, an older woman who is a retired teacher and who is now taking some classes at the university, said how sad she was that I was leaving and started to tear up-- I was very surprised and touched. We´re going to try to find a time to have coffee together. She said she was looking for a CD of traditional Spanish music to give me to take home... I would like to give her one of Aaron Copland. She is very sweet. The Magnificat rehearsal was better, and Pascual, the guy who sings in the alto section and who has a fantastic voice, asked me if I had classes Monday afternoons because a choir that he sings with was beginning to work on something new and needed contraltos, and he liked my voice and wanted to know if I could join.... I told him I would love to but I was leaving soon. Things like that make me think-- just for a moment-- that maybe I could stay here, what would happen if I lived here a little while longer, I am going to miss out on so many things... But on the other hand I can´t wait to come home. It´s a crazy mix. I have written far too much weblog and far too little term paper... time to get crackin.

Well Barcelona was good times, even though the group I was traveling with was not a very good group to travel with. Five was a bad number, and we just didn´t have the same priorities. I feel like I will go back someday and be able to do it right, but on the other hand, I was there two days ago, and spent a lot of time poking around trying to figure out what we wanted to do and eating at McDonalds. It took us a long time to get going on Saturday, and to find a place to eat. Finally we got walking and saw (the outsides of) the two big Gaudi houses, the Casa Batllo and Casa Milla (I think) with the chimneys on top. Took the bus to Parc Guell, which was awesome. I am starting to realize how much I like visiting parks. Whenever we find a nice park or an outdoor natural thing to do it is always successful. Saw the longest bench in teh world, and the salamander fountain, and all the famous things. Very colorful and fun and beautiful. Shep and Lauren had bought train tickets for the 4:00 train home, because they wanted to get back to celebrate Rachel´s birthday. Khloe went with them, but Katie and I stayed because we wanted to see the inside of Casa Batllo, and because we didn´t want to go home yet. I still would have liked to stay longer, but I couldn´t by myself. Katie and I had a good time, hung around the park some more, had some extra-delicious ice cream... Casa Batllo was awesome, definately worth the 8€ price of admission. We took the train home and got into Alicante at 10:30. Paz was surprised to see me so early. I took a shower and went to bed. Then I did work all day yesterday, felt kind of abandoned by Paz and Paloma who went out for the Sunday meal with her friends. Julie called and asked if I was coming. I told her I wasn´t invited, and Paz had something cooking on the stove for me to eat by myself. So I hung out and tried to focus, talked to Ben, got work done... I am kind of overwhelmed by what I need to do before the end, and how close the end is, and how busy I will be all the time until suddenly everything is over. Have to write to final papers in Spanish, plus exams and whatnot, and the Magnificat concert this Friday night in Denia, with a rehearsal (also in Denia, more than an hour´s drive away) on Wednesday night... Took a break from my work to play a game of Battleship with Paloma, who cheated and ruined the game by not putting all of her ships on the board. Played almost the whole game until she accused ME of cheating and looking at her board, therefore seeing that she had not put down her other ship... I hadn´t looked at all, but I knew that there wasn´t a place left for her ship to be... So I caught her. I was kind of pissed off, I hope she learns from it and doesn´t cheat in the future. I always thought she was cheating a little bit when we played the Oca game and Parchis, like applying rules to me but not to herself, or not telling me that I get to roll again but then announcing it when she lands on that space... I chalked those up to forgetfulness. Turns out she is much more malicious. That sneaky Paloma. Paloma also made a hilarious joke yesterday. She gets all these toy catalogs, like Toys-R-Us type catalogs, which she looks through and circles things and writes them in her wish lists to the Reyes Magos. (By the way, you don´t go visit Santa Claus in the malls here, but instead the three kings. Apparently on the 5th of January they used to come in by boat, before the night when they brought all the presents, and all the kids would go see them and get little candies or something. Now a helicopter flies into Plaza de Toros and drops them off, and then picks them up again later on... Hm, home for Christmas, or helicopter in Plaza de Toros with the Reyes Magos... It really is a tough call here.) So Paloma had gotten a new catalog and sat down at the table with the catalog and pen in hand. I said, "¿Más jugetes?" Paloma, without dropping a beat, said, "¡¡Por menos dinero!!" which is what this scary stupid clown on TV says in some commercial that they air all the time. (more toys for less money!) She imitated the voice and everything... I laughed for a long time.